A tale of a motorcycle

A conversation between two anonymous characters

X: Well... it seems Arjun is going to write a new post about a motorcycle
Y: Wow! That's cool. Now this is some good news
X: He said it was about his motorcycle
Y: But, he doesn't have a motorcycle. Don't tell me he bought a new bike
X: No he doesn't have one and he didn't buy a new bike either. This story is about the time when he actually owned one. He didn't give much details about it and instead, told me to read his blog.
Y: So what are you waiting for dunderhead? Let's go ahead and read it.  I can't wait any longer!


As luck would have it, I've never had the chance to own a good motorcycle. Can't say if it's because I haven't got the right opportunity to buy one or my dad doesn't like the idea of me riding one. Whenever I ask him to buy me a good bike he starts rambling about buying a car or an SUV. Then, the topic drifts to some financial issues cropping up or about the money he invested or plans to invest in some property or his dwindling bank balance (yeah right!) or the likes. My efforts to convince him were all in vain cause he just wouldn't accede to my demand. Therefore, so far neither the new 2 wheeler idea nor the new 4 wheeler idea has materialised.

Come on! It's not asking for too much right? A good bike is a birth right of every middle class teenager (leave alone a twenty-something guy like me)  who yearns for it. OK, the word good here is a relative and vague term. Good here means anything which suits most of the requirements of the person riding it. It may be power, performance, styling, fuel efficiency or a combination of all these, or, a bike for plain showoff. Speaking with these factors in mind (for Indian standards), all my friends have GOOD bikes. What kind of a @&%$^% up deal is this huh? Here I am, stuck with one disgusting vehicle (by all standards) and they roam around in performance bikes. This is like breeding enviousness (don't confuse it with jealousy).

So what came to me in the form of my first bike was actually a gift from my uncle's father-in-law to him. My uncle in turn gifted it to me out of his generosity. This bike, a tall, emaciated and hideously bland looking thing, was actually a 1991 model Hero Honda Sleek. My uncle's F-i-L gave it to him because nobody was using  it at his place, and my uncle gave it to me because he didn't have a driving license. But whatever it was, I was happy (at least for the time being) to have my first bike. This was somewhere in mid 2007. I cleaned it, got the registration certificate renewed, got the bike transferred into my name and even spent a fortune converting it into a "decent" looking thing.

This bike was my companion through thick and thin. It served the purpose of getting me from point A to point B. It also helped me in doing my domestic chores which included picking and dropping a zillion people. One day (somewhere in July 2008) while I was on such an errand (picking up my cousin and bringing her to my house), the traffic cops beckoned me to stop my bike for a random checking of documents. It was then that I realised the bike's insurance policy had expired only a couple of days ago. What kind of an irony have I brought myself into, I asked myself. I tried to swerve the bike and escape, but the cop, being experienced with handling such antics, jumped ahead and grabbed the bike key. I was stranded.


Cop: You thought you could get away so easily is it?
I: No no... I was going to stop by the side of the road a little ahead (yeah right!)
Cop: Yeah right!!! Now show me your license, insurance policy and RC book.
I: Here is my license and my RC book.
Cop (after checking them): Yeah this is all fine, but where the hell is the insurance policy?
I (cursing my luck): Here!
Cop: But this policy has expired. Where is the new one?
I: I don't have it. It must've slipped my mind to renew it.
Cop: Oh is it? Poor you! Now pay up 500 bucks to the Sub-inspector and scoot from here.
I: But I don't have so much with me.
My cousin (who was getting impatient by then): Arjun chetta I have the money with me. Let's pay up and scoot as he says.
I: Shut up! I know how to handle these guys. You just wait and watch.
I (to the cop): I know this RTO officer who is very close to me. Should I make him intervene in this matter? 500 bucks is just too much. I won't get that much even if I sell the bike.
Cop: Why do you want to trouble him? We'll compromise for something lower. Come lets speak to the Sub-inspector. 
SI (acting as if he doesn't know anything): Whats the issue? Why have you caught him?
Cop: He hasn't renewed his insurance policy. 
SI: Oh! Tell him to pay whatever he has and get lost. 
Cop: He says he can't pay 500 bucks for it and also said that the bike won't fetch him so much if he was to sell it. 
SI (to me, with a smile on his otherwise sombre face): Now let us get down to business... I'll pay you 5000 bucks for the bike. Will you sell it to me?????
I (thinking): 5k for this worthless bike? Thats cool! After all, I got it free. Muhahahaha!
I (to the SI): Sure! Agreed. But what will you do with the bike?
SI: I'm going to use it in my village to carry hay for my cows.
I: Ha ha now thats some novel thinking. (what a jerk!)
My cousin: Arjun chetta don't sell it. I'll pay the fine.
I: Shut up! Here I'm getting a good deal on this piece of junk and you tell me to continue riding this thing to eternity after paying the fine?
My cousin: But what will your parents say?
I: Don't worry I'll explain it to them.
SI: OK let me take it for a test ride.
I: Sure go ahead.

The SI had in fact got a bike mechanic along from the nearby garage to test ride it. The mechanic took the bike for a spin and came back with an expression of Thank-God-I'm-alive-to-tell-this story-to-my wife-and-kids! In his "Special report" to the SI, he mentioned the benefits of (not) buying the bike. For starters, it had no such thing called a brake, the acceleration was very less, neither the headlamp nor the tail lamp worked, the battery was as good as dead, the tyres were balding, the speedometer didn't work, etc etc. He also asked me personally as to how I managed to ride such a vehicle. The SI and he started discussing among others, things like how to get me a recognition from the government for such daredevilry. They were also finalising the (revised) price for the bike.


After some negotiations, finally the asking price for the bike settled to 4000 rupees. A paltry sum when compared to the money I spent on refurbishing it, but a good sum when compared to the money I had to spend on repairs and maintenance. I sold the bike.


This was a win-win situation as far as the selling part of the bike was concerned. But of course, the flip side of it was that I had to start using my old vehicle again (Never mind what it is). Hence, for the record, I (an offender) actually sold a bike to a copper for not having had the money to pay up the fine for a minor offense, and in the process, losing my first bike ever.


People at home were obviously shocked, but the turn of events also provided for a good laugh. Now to start collecting for my next purchase- a Suzuki Hayabusa or a Harley Davidson V-Rod :P