The better way to commit mandatory suicide

Disclaimer: For people who wish to get married only. A debatable topic. Only the Indian perspective covered here.

Last night, I was having this very passionate discussion with my best friend about which type of marriage is the better option- Love or arranged? My best friend was hell bent on proving that arranged marriages was the order of the day and that love marriages always landed the couple in trouble afterwards. She even cited a few live examples of the disadvantages of love marriages to prove her point. So, I thought it would be better if I throw some light on this topic from my angle.

First things first, I believe you should always look at both sides of the coin before coming to any conclusion. What with the various stereotypes that people have come up with against both types of marriages. "How can you marry someone whom you don't know anything about?" or " Doesn't knowing a person before marriage enable you to have better respect and understanding of each other?" seems to be the most common questions that a person favouring a love marriage will ask. "Love marriages don't last and will bring in a lot of complexities in the future" is what people opting for an arranged marriage seem to argue about. Both are right in their own respects, but again, not always.

We Indians are a very tolerant lot. We've tolerated the various invasions from foreign rulers, we've tolerated the hostile robbery of all our wealth, the takeover of our political boundaries by other nations, we've tolerated the British, we've even let different cultures merge into ours, and we know how to live with one spouse better that any other country does. Yes, the divorce rate in India* is just 1.1%. That means, only 11 marriages out of a 1000 end up in a divorce. Compare this to the population and the divorce rate in the USA (54.8%) and you will know what I'm talking about. Yes, I'd definitely agree that love marriages are a major failure in the US, but the overall figures show a different picture here in India. Even occidentalisation and changes in lifestyle couldn't alter the numbers much.

Coming to the main discussion, Love marriages are said to offer more freedom and comfort levels among couples. They tend to know each other's likes and dislikes and behavioural patterns well. This way, they are well adjusted to each other after marriage. This is what should happen under ideal circumstances. I say ideal because most people, according to me, don't actually understand the true concept of love. For some, it is only about acquiring physical or materialistic benefits from their partners or pursuing beauty or perfection. For some others it is only about lust. This kind of marriage should be labelled 'lust marriage' rather than be classified under love marriage. It is only the others, who pursue true love and happiness in this category who last an entire lifetime of togetherness.

Speaking about arranged marriages, they surely are the most popular kind in our country and are considered to be more secure with a high success rate. This again does not mean that arranged marriages are ideal. Some marriages under this category are strictly based on parental pressures/emotional blackmails or again, in some cases, for materialistic benefits or snob value/status. The likes of the person getting married is totally ignored sometimes.  Many people have been known to have tolerated an abusive relationship for years just for the sake of family pride and societal pressures. There are also various norms to be followed (horoscopes, astrologers, caste, dowry, status, matrimonial agencies, etc.) which makes arranged marriages a big turn off these days.

All these leads us to one big question. Which kind of marriage is ultimately good for you? As far as I'm concerned, it can be either. The individuals getting married must decide their ideal choice. Yes, family plays a big role in this decision, but they will not be there by your side throughout your married life. After all, a marriage is an institution formed to share love, happiness and sorrows. Doesn't matter if it's love marriage or arranged marriage.

PS: What do you think about live-in relationships? :) 
*http://www.indidivorce.com/divorce-rate-in-india.html